


A Cat Named Baby and a Baby Named Kat

by speccygeekgrrl



Series: lovers from the moon [15]
Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: Childbirth, Domestic Fluff, Family Fluff, Fluff, Going through labor sucks and Kinga doesn't like it, It helps to have two very attentive husbands through the process though, Multi, Nerds being cute and in love, Pet Adoption, Tickling, Water birth, adopt don't shop, and Kinga's pissed that most of them are about dying in the process, wow the AO3 tags for childbirth are depressing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-07-20 09:29:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16134452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speccygeekgrrl/pseuds/speccygeekgrrl
Summary: The Forresters gain a pet and a daughter, in that order. Kinga doesn't have a ton of input on the first event but is determined to control as much of the second as possible, and neither of her husbands are going to disagree with her plans. Of course, childbirth isn't really something that goes along with being precisely planned out in advance, but if there's one thing these dorks are excellent at, it's improvisation.





	1. A Cat Named Baby

**Author's Note:**

> This is ridiculously fluffy and I'm not sorry.

It only took two and a half weeks for Jonah’s prediction to come true and Kinga to get sick of spending time with just her spouses. She’d taken to kicking them out of their home completely while she was working with her doula, Traci, to which neither husband objected too strenuously. It wouldn’t be long before the baby came and they wouldn’t have much time to go on dates and do their own things, so they took advantage of the chances when they came. While both of them were kept busy with state business on the weekdays, a Saturday in early April found them kicked out of their home and with time to kill together that they had a good idea how to spend together.

Max and Jonah spent the afternoon in the Museum of the Moving Image together, which was fascinating to them both. The history of movies was cool to explore, but Jonah found himself hung up on a temporary exhibit about memes that made Max feel very old.

“What do you mean, you don’t know about I Can Haz Cheezburger? Where do you think the origin of dogespeak came from?”

“Uh… Facebook?”

“Oh, my sweet summer child. You know, we didn’t even call them memes back then. This was called a cat macro. These existed before Facebook was even really a thing.”

“A world without Facebook,” Jonah said wistfully, and Max laughed.

“There were enough problems in the world without Facebook. They’re just different problems now.”

“Do you ever wonder what would have happened if it hadn’t taken off? What would exist instead of it? Or would nothing have filled its place like this?”

“My life wasn’t that altered by Facebook. But world history was, so…” Max frowned slightly, and Jonah nudged him with his elbow.

“We wouldn’t be where we are now if Facebook hadn’t influenced politics.”

“Yeah, that’s a good point. It’s kind of hard to imagine a world that…. went better, I guess, is the phrase I’m looking for.”

“We’re making the world better now. We might not be able to fix everything, but we can fix a lot.”

“I hope we can fix enough,” Max said, and Jonah’s brows arched.

“We won’t know for a while.”

“We might never know.”

“Are you okay? This is a bit pessimistic from you.”

“I’m just worrying. Which is standard for me. Come on, let’s keep going.” 

After they left the museum, Jonah took Max’s hand and tugged them in the opposite direction of the way Max had turned. “If you’re not starving, I have another stop for us before dinner.”

“Lead on,” Max said cheerfully. Walking the city streets together got a lot of people staring at them, not used to seeing the emperors in this part of town. Jonah’s deliberately slowed stride to keep pace with Max’s shorter legs made them easy to catch up with if anyone wanted to talk to them, and they did get stopped a couple of times by people who wanted selfies with them. By the time they made it to where they were going, Max lit up, having caught the ASPCA sign from down the street. “Oh, you brought me to the cats.”

“I thought we could, you know, preview them. Figure out the ones we liked better, then have them bring a few to our home so Kinga could have a say in the one we actually pick.” Max paused two steps up the stoop to the animal shelter, which was just enough height to let him kiss Jonah without pulling him down to do it, and smooched him. “Kinga said she was okay with that plan, so all you have to do is choose the cats she gets to see.”

“You say that as if I’ll be able to let any of them go once I’ve pre-selected them,” Max said. Jonah shrugged.

“If you want six cats, take it up with our wife. I think probably one cat will be enough with the baby too, but if your marshmallow heart is full of kittens, I’m not going to be the one to tell you no.”

They started by looking at the kittens, but the thought of training a kitten and caring for a newborn at the same time was not an attractive one. Jonah made sure to take several pictures and a video of Max covered in kittens crawling all over him to send to Kinga. One particularly ambitious kitten climbed up Jonah’s entire leg and would have scaled up to his shoulder if he hadn’t caught it and detached the tiny claws from his hoodie. Max practically had hearts in his eyes watching Jonah cuddle the daring kitten, as if he weren’t smitten enough.

“Can we see the cats who have been here for a while?” Max asked as they came out of the kitten room. “Maybe the older ones who aren’t as rambunctious?”

“Of course,” Aidan, the shelter adoption manager who was showing them around, lead them down the hall. “We have quite a few adult cats who haven’t been adopted for a long time. Some of them aren’t suitable for a home with an infant, but I have one in mind that I think might suit your needs.” They came into a room full of older cats, many of whom started meowing for attention immediately. Aidan walked over to a dilute calico tabby and took her out of the cage. “This is Baby. She’s six years old and she’s been with us for about eleven months.” Max accepted the cat, who was small and delicate and had huge green eyes, and she started purring immediately. “Baby came in with three of her kittens, who all got adopted out pretty quickly, but poor little mama here hasn’t been taken home yet.”

“She’s beautiful,” Jonah said, petting the cat between her ears while Max cuddled her. “Why’s she still here? Is there something wrong with her?”

“She’s on a special diet that’s a bit pricey, and that dissuades a lot of people. And she’s aggressive with other cats. She’d prefer to be in a one-cat household. She’s great with dogs and with kids, though. She’s always been very gentle with people.”

“I love her already,” Max said. “We’re about to have a newborn in the house, do you think she’d be okay in that situation?”

“You might have a hard time keeping her out of the crib. Her previous owners said that they named her Baby because she preferred to sleep in their kid’s old bassinet.” 

“She’s spayed and vaccinated and everything?” Jonah asked.

“And microchipped, although I have a hard time believing she’d escape Forrester Tower,” Aidan said with a laugh. “And she’s accustomed to having the soft paws claw covers on, so keeping her from scratching will be easy. She’s really a little love bug. I’m amazed she’s still here after so long.”

“She was waiting for us,” Max said. “Do you think Kinga would kill us if we brought home just one cat instead of an assortment for her to pick from?”

“I think you better text her and find out first.”

“Yeah, probably.” Max handed Baby to Jonah, who held her like a baby and petted her stomach to much appreciative purring.

“What an easygoing kitty,” Jonah said, grinning when Max took a picture of him and the cat to send to Kinga. “What does she like?”

“She likes pom-pom toys and fuzzy toys, but nothing that jingles or squeaks. And she _loves_ feather teasers. She still chases them around like a kitten.” Max’s phone buzzed in his hand a few moments later, and he wrinkled his nose as he read the message.

“She wants to know if we can take the cat for a trial period.”

“Well, you can return her if she’s not a good fit for your household anyways,” Aidan said. “But if you’re going to take her home, you do have to do all the paperwork.”

“That’s fine,” Max said. “Because I really do want to go home with her right now.”

“So much for our dinner date,” Jonah said playfully, and Max shrugged. 

“You’re the one who brought me here. I don’t know what you expected to happen.”

“Honestly, pretty much this. I didn’t think you’d fall in love with one cat so quickly, I figured you’d want to take at least four of them back to Kinga. But once you fall in love, you’re steadfast. So I guess we’ve got a Baby a few weeks earlier than we thought we would.”

Filling out the paperwork didn’t take long, and Jonah snapped a few shots of Max filling it out and of Baby in her cat carrier before they left the ASPCA, tweeting a couple of them while he waited for Max to finish up with it. The phone started ringing as they walked out of the building. He hoped they’d have lots of adoptions as a result of this.

They made it back home via Uber, one loudly meowing cat in the carrier Jonah carried and one box full of cat supplies in Max’s arms. Kinga was sitting on the couch and waved them over. “Well? Let’s see her.” 

“Kinga, meet Baby.” Jonah sprang the door to the carrier when he set it down next to her on the couch, and Baby stepped out delicately, looking around a bit before walking onto Kinga’s lap and rubbing her cheek against Kinga’s belly.

“Oh,” Kinga said, and stroked Baby between her ears, earning an appreciative purr. “She’s adorable. I love her coloration.” Max put the cat stuff down on the coffee table and sat next to her, dropping a kiss on her cheek.

“How was your meeting with Traci?”

“I decided a few things. You should probably know about them sooner than later.” Jonah moved the carrier and sat down on her other side, and Kinga kept looking down at the cat she was petting. “I want to have a home birth. I don’t want to go to a hospital.”

“That’s not surprising,” Max said. “Although potentially inadvisable given that you’ve been on bed rest for weeks.”

“She said I’ll probably be fine,” Kinga said with a dismissive wave of one hand. “I’ll have a doctor on hand just in case, not just the doula. But I feel like being in a hospital would just stress me out worse. I’m already pretty freaked out, I don’t need to add to it.”

“I thought working with her was supposed to make you less freaked out,” Jonah said. Baby stepped into his lap and curled up, and he stroked her fur absently. “The miracle of childbirth or whatever.”

“Or whatever,” Kinga snorted. “I don’t think anything is going to make me less freaked out about the entire concept of pushing a human being out of me, but at that point I think I’ll probably just be more relieved to get it over with.”

“That’s fair,” Max said. “So a home birth? That means you can’t have an epidural, right?”

“Yeah. A water birth, actually. Since we have that gigantic tub. That’s supposed to be one of the less stressful ways to have a baby, according to Traci. And I was never planning on having an epidural.”

“Are you sure? We all know you can be masochistic but this isn’t going to be the kind of pain you enjoy.”

“I’m a Forrester. I can handle it. And I don’t want to be numb. I’d rather feel everything than feel nothing.”

“We know you can handle it. You’re the most powerful woman in the world,” Max said.

“We just want you to be happy with your choices. But honestly, that sounds pretty cool,” Jonah said. “I guess all the swimming we’ve been doing has gotten to you.”

“Considering in the water is about the only place I’m comfortable any more? Yeah, I’d say.” Kinga shifted on the couch, put a hand on her round belly, and sighed. Her shifting disturbed Baby, who leaped off of Jonah’s lap and started to investigate her new home. “I know what I want to name her, too.”

“Do we get a say in this?” Jonah asked.

“You can register an opinion but that doesn’t mean I’ll take it into account,” Kinga said, and Max huffed a laugh.

“Are you sticking with traditional Forrester naming conventions?” She nodded, and Jonah arched a brow.

“What are traditional Forrester naming conventions?”

“A baby gets her opposite gendered parent’s name for a middle name,” Kinga said. “Or in our daughter’s case, both of them. My dad got both his grandmother’s names, since Grandma already used hers on her first son....” _First son?_ Jonah mouthed silently. Max just shook his head.

“So what’ll her name be?” Max asked.

“Katalin Maximilian Jonah Forrester,” Kinga said. Max’s eyes widened and a grin broke over his face.

“I love it,” he said.

“So if we ever have a son his middle name will be Kinga?” Jonah asked.

“Can I please have this baby before you even hint at a second one? This pregnancy has been weird and uncomfortable enough. What do you think about the name?”

“It sounds nice,” Jonah said. “What does Katalin mean?”

“It means ‘pure’ but I don’t really think that matters,” Kinga said. “I picked it for a different reason.”

“It sounds kind of like Clayton,” Max said, and she huffed a laugh and leaned against him.

“Yeah. That reason.” He put an arm around her and she put her head on his shoulder. “I wasn’t expecting you to bring home a cat named Baby, though.”

“So our cat’s named Baby and we’ll probably call our baby Kat,” Jonah said. “That won’t be confusing at all.”

“I mean, that’s about par for the course, isn’t it? Weird but in a good way?” Kinga looked over at him and offered a smile. “We can rename the cat but I’m pretty firm about the name of the baby.”

“No, it’ll be fine,” Jonah said quickly. “It’s… on brand for us, isn’t it?”

“Exactly,” Max said. “We’ll just have to be definite about using articles. _The_ baby or _the_ cat.”

“ _Our_ baby and _our_ cat,” Kinga amended.

“No, that’s way too indefinite,” Jonah said. “I think we can figure it out from context though. Baby will be more independent than _the_ baby.”

“Well, I think Baby needs to get her litter box set up and some food put out before she’ll be independent here,” Max said. He gave Kinga a squeeze and a kiss on the temple before standing up to take care of those things. “And I think I could use some food too, since the dinner date didn’t happen.”

“Can we get pho?” Kinga asked. “I’m craving really spicy pho.”

“Whatever you want,” Jonah said as she rearranged herself to lean against him instead. “This kid’s really a spice fiend lately, huh? You’ve practically been drinking hot sauce out of the bottle.”

“Not yet, but I’ve thought about it.”

“Kinga’s always been a spice fiend,” Max said. “Comes with the fiery temper, I think.” He set the several cat toys they’d bought on the table and picked up the litter box and litter and headed into the bathroom.

“It has been turned up to eleven lately, though,” she said thoughtfully, scrolling through the menu options on her phone of the Vietnamese restaurant they’d collectively decided was their favorite. “You want the banh mi again, Max?” she called after him.

“Yes please,” he yelled back, and Baby made her appearance from down the hallway and followed him into the bathroom with a chirp.

“What do you want?” she asked Jonah, who stole her phone instead of giving her an answer. “Hey!”

“I need to look at the menu,” he said. “Maybe the two of you have settled on a favorite thing, but I still want to try something new.” She humphed and waited impatiently for him to hand it back. “You have no chill.”

“Hey, I have plenty of chill. The baby has no chill.” Jonah snorted a laugh and handed her the phone, and she elbowed him none-too-gently. “Don’t laugh at me!”

“I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you.” He tickled her side and she buckled with a yelp. “See? Now we’re all laughing.”

“I hate you, stop touching me, you enormous jerk,” she gasped as he continued the tickle assault, collapsing across his lap and flailing at his hand weakly. “Quit it quit it quit it!” He stopped just as Max came back into the room and arched his brows at the spectacle his spouses made. “Ugh, you suck.”

“You’re doing it wrong,” Max said. “When you tickle her you have to focus on the armpits, not the sides.”

“Oh yeah?” Jonah wiggled his fingers and she let out another shriek. “I’ll have to keep that in mind for the next time.”

“I will tie you up in your sleep and leave you there for an entire day,” she threatened, slapping at his hands as she sat up. 

“That’s okay, Max will free me.”

“Oh, I don’t know, that would be a pretty irresistible opportunity,” Max said cheerfully, sitting on Kinga’s other side and smirking at Jonah. “I would. Eventually. Probably not right away.”

“As long as you don’t leave me to her lack of mercy, I’m willing to throw myself on your much more plentiful mercy.”

“Then I don’t think you have much to fear from her threats.”

“Stop undermining my fearsomeness, damn you,” she growled, going directly for Max’s sides-- which were _his_ weak point. He burst into giggles and offered no resistance whatsoever, and she rolled her eyes and stopped after a moment. “It’s no good, you enjoy it too much.”

“That’s true of pretty much anything you do to me,” he pointed out. “Sorry, dear, I go along with you out of love, not fear. Always have.”

“You know, you could _pretend_ to be scared of me. It’d be good for my ego.”

“I don’t think your ego needs any help,” Jonah said, and she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her bulging belly.

“I’m pregnant, you should indulge me.”

“We know you are,” Max said. “And honestly, the thought of you getting more egotistical is more scary than the thought of you… doing whatever devious thing you have in mind.”

“Deviant,” Jonah said. “I think that’s more accurate than devious.”

“They both apply to what I have in mind,” Kinga said. “But I suppose I can bookmark these ideas for when I’m not…” She waved vaguely at her stomach. “You know. I can shelve them for a couple months.”

“That just means you’re going to be refining them for a couple of months,” Max said dubiously.

“I’m sorry, if she has the energy to pull off any kind of devious and/or deviant plans with a newborn in the house, she deserves to succeed,” Jonah said. “Even if I’m the subject of said plans.”

“Oh, don’t worry, you will be,” she said, reaching up to pat his cheek. “Because you’re so much fun to toy with.”

“I’m resigned to my fate as your plaything, but you really don’t need to tie me up to get me to go along with it,” Jonah said wryly.

“But that’s half the fun of it,” she whined. Jonah shot a slightly desperate glance at Max, who shrugged.

“You need to be much more careful about what you say because she can and will take advantage of any allowance you make,” he said. “When in doubt, don’t say anything, just kiss her.”

“Sound advice,” Jonah said, and kissed her before either of them could say another word.


	2. A Baby Named Kat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Childbirth is a process, and Kinga is way over it. Of course, no daughter of Kinga Forrester would ever make things easy... just like her mother, she's got a sense of theatrics that demands things move at _her_ pace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long to finish. I really meant to have it done eight months ago. I guess I had to gestate it. I hope it's more enjoyable to read than it was to write.

The last couple of weeks of Kinga’s pregnancy were spent by her getting extremely broody and ordering way too much baby furniture online only to return three quarters of it, Jonah spending half his time assembling or disassembling said furniture, Baby spending two thirds of her time sleeping in said furniture, and Max spending almost all of his time managing the wants and needs of every other member of the household in a mostly successful attempt to keep everyone happy. Given that part of that duty involved a daily afternoon nap with his wife, his cat, and sometimes his husband, it wasn’t exactly a hardship for him.

Thursday morning dawned clear and cool to find Kinga awake before either of her husbands, very unusually. She woke up all at once and blinked at the back of Max’s neck, wrapped around him as she usually was, wondering what had drawn her out of sleep for only a moment before the event repeated itself: the baby kicking strongly inside her. “Oof,” she muttered, pressing one hand to her stomach against the spot she’d been kicked. “C’mon, kid, you gotta cut this out.”

“Hmm?” Max stirred and she kissed the back of his neck.

“Nothing. Go back to sleep.” She rolled onto her back, hand still pressed to her belly, and sighed. She hadn’t been allowed to sleep on her back for the past four months, and she hadn’t been able to sleep on her stomach like she preferred in even longer. The baby kicked again, and she drummed her fingers against the spot in response before sighing again and making her slow and awkward way out of bed and into the bathroom. 

She made faces at herself in the mirror while she washed her hands. After nearly two months on bed rest, she looked very well rested and very, very bored. Maybe motherhood would be exhausting and stressful but at least it wouldn’t be dull. “Any time you’d like to join us,” she said sarcastically, tapping her fingers against her belly. “We’re all just waiting on you.” The baby didn’t oblige her with any kind of response, and she rolled her eyes and turned to leave the bathroom. Before she finished crossing the tiled floor, a gush of wetness spilled out of her and she paused with a hand on the doorsill. “Oh, _shit_.” She thought the exclamation had been quiet, but Max sat up slightly, apparently wide awake despite her admonition for him to go back to sleep.

“What’s wrong?”

“I think my water just broke,” she said, grimacing and tugging at the elastic waistband of her maternity sweats that were now clinging to her thighs. “Apparently we have an obedient child.”

“Really?” He scrambled out of bed and to her side, and she clutched his arm. “Are you having contractions?”

“No. She’s just been kicking a lot.”

“Well, let’s get you out of these and then I’ll call the doula.”

“Trying to get me out of my clothes… so inappropriate,” she said, swatting at his shoulder. He rolled his eyes playfully. 

“Hey, if you want to sit around in soaked pants, that’s your call. I’m just trying to keep you comfortable.” She caught him by the shoulder and squeezed, and he met her eyes to find her looking more than a little freaked out. “Are you okay?” he asked softly, and she nodded, then shook her head, then shrugged, tears filling her eyes.

“Oh, I don’t even know!” 

“Hey, shh, it’s okay. Tell me how you feel.”

“I’m _scared_ ,” she said, and he nodded and pulled her into his arms, letting her tuck her face into the bend of his neck. “I’ve been thinking about today for the past five months, but… I still don’t know what’s going to happen or how I’ll handle it.”

“You’ll handle it like you’ve handled every other challenge in your life,” he told her, stroking her back gently. “With an indomitable spirit and with my love and support.” She huffed and then sniffed. “You’re going to be fine. I promise. It’s going to be hard and stressful for… oh, I don’t know. Less than a day. Maybe much less than a day. And then you’ll be the only one inhabiting your body again, and you’ll get to meet this little miracle we’ve created. And between then and now you can get away with saying pretty much whatever terrible things you feel like saying because no one’s going to hold what you say in labor against you.” She breathed a shaky laugh into his shoulder, and he held her tighter for a moment before pulling back to look at her. “So, do you want new pants or do you just want your robe?”

“Just my robe,” she said, and he nodded.

“Want help getting out of your pants, or are you going to call me a perv?”

“Yeah. Help me. Please.”

“Of course.” She stepped out of the wet fabric and he left her holding the doorsill again while he fetched her plush robe from across the bedroom, back in barely a second to wrap it around her and wrap her in his arms again. “What else do you need right now?”

“I don’t know. I want to go sit on the couch and call Traci.”

“Okay, sure.” He grabbed her phone from the bedside table and she shook her head when he offered her his arm again. They left Jonah snoring in the bedroom, but Baby joined them as soon as they opened the door, twining herself around both Kinga and Max’s ankles and meowing loudly. Max bent down to pick up the cat and she meowed in his face. “Yeah, yeah, I know, you’re starving…” 

“Grab me an orange juice while you’re feeding her,” Kinga said, walking into the living room with one hand spread over her belly. The baby wasn’t kicking any more, but she could feel her moving around. She sat down on the couch and dialed her doula.

“Good morning,” Traci answered her phone, sounding cheerful but not very awake. “How’s it going?”

“My water just broke,” Kinga said.

“Oh! Are you having contractions?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Trust me, you’d know if you were. They should start pretty soon if they haven’t yet. You don’t really need a doctor there until your contractions are about five minutes apart.”

“Could you... be here anyways? I’m still kind of… I don’t feel ready for this.”

“Of course I’ll be there for you, that’s my entire job here. Do you mind if I finish my breakfast and not rush over right this second? You’ll be fine for a while if you’re not even having contractions yet.”

“Yeah, sure,” Kinga said. She looked up at Max when he came out to join her with the juice she’d requested, and she gave him a smile. “I’ll see you soon, then?”

“I’ll be there within the hour.” Baby followed Max out once she’d devoured her food and hopped onto the couch between the two of them, and Kinga petted her between the ears.

“Want me to go wake Jonah up?” Max offered, and Kinga shook her head.

“Why? Nothing’s really happening yet. And it’s not even seven. Let him sleep.” Max picked up the cat and moved her to his lap so he could cuddle with his wife, and Kinga leaned into him with a little sigh. “I hope this goes okay.”

“Of course it will. You’ve been practicing the breathing and labor positions for months. You’ve got me and Jonah, you’ve got Traci, you’ve got Dr. Anders, everything is going to be fine.”

“It might not be.”

“Hey, it’s my job to do the worrying, okay? So leave it to me. All you need to do right now is relax. You’re in good hands. The hard part is coming but it’s not here yet.” 

“It’ll be here soon.”

“Yeah, and the sooner you start labor, the sooner you’ll be done with it. Aren’t you ready to get back to feeling like yourself again?” Kinga froze and sucked in a sharp breath. Max looked at her curiously. “What’s wrong?”

“I haven’t felt like myself this entire time we’ve been back on Earth,” she said slowly, starting to tear up. “What— what if I go back to feeling like myself and— and I’m just a horrible person underneath it all?”

“Oh, Kinga… you’re not a horrible person. I know you better than anyone, right?” She nodded, tears starting to drip down her cheeks, and he reached up to brush them away. “I promise that you’re not going to go back to your old ways after you have the baby.”

“How do you know?”

“You grow as a person with every person you love. I think you’re forgetting that. I had an effect on you, Jonah’s had an effect on you, Katalin will have an effect on you. You’re becoming a better person and that has nothing to do with the pregnancy hormones and everything to do with your commitment to our family and to doing the right thing for us.” He kissed her hair when she turned to sniffle against his shoulder. 

“I… fuck, I _hate_ this crying.”

“That’s what I was talking about when I said feeling like yourself. Not feeling evil. Just not feeling sad for no reason thirty times a day.” He stroked her back gently while she let herself cry.

“What did you _say_ to her?” Jonah asked as he came into the room, yawning. “And what happened to our morning cuddle?”

“Her water broke,” Max said, looking up at him as he came over to the couch. “And I didn’t say anything.”

“I’m… I’m fine,” Kinga said, lifting her head with tears still staining her cheeks, “I’m fine, really. And we thought we’d let you sleep. What time is it? The sun was barely up when it happened.”

“I don’t know, after seven? Are you in labor now?” Jonah stepped over the back of the couch and folded his lanky limbs up next to her, handing her a tissue from the side table with an anxious look on his face.

“No, I haven’t—” Kinga’s eyes widened and she curled over her stomach, covering it with both arms. “Ow! Oh, ow. Okay. I guess I _am_ having contractions. _Jeez_ our kid is responsive to what people say around her.” Max kept rubbing her back gently, and it was almost a minute before she sighed and sat up straighter, pained expression smoothing out. “Okay. That wasn’t fun, and it’s only going to get worse.” She set a timer on her phone and set it on the coffee table. “But it’s not serious until they’re only five minutes apart. So… business as usual until then.”

“Business as usual,” Jonah repeated dryly. “Right. Definitely. It’s almost baby time, but it’s business as usual.”

“Shut up.” She smacked one hand into his chest and he caught it and kissed the back of it. “I’m hungry. And I think I changed my mind about wanting pants. Help me up.” Jonah got to his feet and offered her his hands, and she squeaked as he pulled her up and caught her when she wobbled. “Ugh, I can’t wait to get my body back.”

“It won’t be long now,” Max said, nudging Baby off his lap with a mew of protest so he could get up too. “What do you want for breakfast?”

“Something small. Maybe fruit salad?”

“On it.” He headed into the kitchen, and Jonah looked down at Kinga with a smile.

“Do you need or want my help?”

“Want, not really, but need, probably.” She made a face at him and he leaned all the way down to kiss her. “Hey, Jonah?”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t think I’m still secretly a horrible person, do you?” 

“Do you think I would have agreed to marry you if I thought that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“I would not have. If I thought you were a horrible person, none of what’s happened between us would have happened.” 

“You wouldn’t have saved my life?”

“No, that I would have done. And I _might_ have slept with you the first time. But if you’d been evil and hideous after that instead of being cuddly and cute, I definitely would have forced you to let me go home after I’d saved you.”

“I’m really glad that’s not what happened,” she said, eyes welling up, and he cupped the back of her neck gently. “I’m really glad you let us keep you.” 

“So am I. I’m glad the way you were on the show was just for show.” He tugged her ponytail fondly. “Now what were you saying about pants? Want me to go get them for you?”

“No. I want to walk around. I’m not just going to sit here and wait, I’m going to try to get things to progress.” She did hang on to his arm while they moved through their home, but he wasn’t sure if it was for stability or just moral support. 

“What are you most looking forward to about not being pregnant anymore?” he asked while she dug through a drawer for a clean pair of sweatpants, and she snorted.

“In the order I’ll be able to have them after giving birth… coffee, sushi, my ankles fitting into my favorite boots again, and sex.” He knelt down to help her into the pants, and she sighed as she put her hands on his shoulders. “Do you think we’re going to be good parents?”

“Heck yeah we will. Between the insane amount of infant psychology studies Max has been reading to know what she’ll need in order to thrive later in life and the fact that we’ve all been learning baby sign language so she’ll be able to communicate with us before she can even speak, she’ll probably be bossing us around by the time she’s six months old.” Kinga laughed and leaned over to press her forehead to his, and Jonah kissed her. “We’ve got each other and that’s more than most people get. We’ll be great parents as long as we support each other.”

“I think we can do that.” He got back to his feet and they walked back through the penthouse to find food set out in the breakfast nook and Max sitting there scrolling through the news on his phone, reading glasses perched on his nose and head propped on one hand. He looked up at them and smiled. 

“You never did tell us how you want to break the news,” he said. “Are we going press release or tweet?”

“Depends on when she’s born, I guess,” Kinga said, settling down next to him and popping a grape in her mouth. “I was really thinking tweet though.”

“Really?” Jonah asked, reaching for the coffee before he came over to join them. 

“A twenty-four hour news cycle is pathological. Social media is democratic.” Jonah gave her a skeptical look and she rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’m doing it for the likes! Shut up, I can get away with it.”

“As long as you’re honest about your motivations,” Max said. “If having the most popular newborn photo on Twitter is your motivation, I’m not going to naysay you.”

“As if you could stop me,” Kinga said, and then slapped her hand against the table as her eyes went wide. She fumbled her phone out of her robe pocket and frowned at it. “Twenty-seven minutes.”

“Are you okay?” Max asked, and she glared at him.

“If you ask me if I’m okay every time I have a contraction I’m going to kick you out of the entire building.”

“Empty threat, you’re going to need me too much to lock me out.”

“That’s what you think. I’ll just have Jonah do your job.”

“Jonah does not accept this responsibility,” Jonah said, hiding behind his coffee mug. “Please don’t even threaten to kick him out, you know you’re going to want both of us there.”

“Come on, I can’t even make threats? You’re killing me here. I thought I could get away with saying anything today.”

“I did say that to her,” Max told Jonah. 

“Okay. Carry on, I guess. But if you make us cry—”

“If I make you cry that will be the third time I’ve seen you cry. If I start crying, that’s the six hundredth time you’ve seen me cry. Deal with it.” 

“I fully expect to cry at least three times today,” Max said, stealing a strawberry from Kinga’s bowl. 

“Three?” Jonah asked.

“I was already taking her being mean into account.”

“Wise of you,” Kinga said. Her phone rang and she lifted it to her ear. “Yes? Well let her up, obviously.” She rolled her eyes. “No, my doula’s just stopping by for an unscheduled early morning social call. What do you think?” She hung up. Jonah and Max shared a look across the table.

“I’ll go let her in,” Jonah said, ducking to kiss the top of her head when he stood up. She knotted her hand in the collar of his t-shirt to hold him in place. “Or… I won’t.” She tugged him further down and kissed him on the mouth, and then let go of him.

“I’m sorry for whatever mean shit I say today,” she said. “You know I love you, right?”

“I’m pretty sure I heard that rumor circulating somewhere,” he said with a grin, and went to do what he said. When she turned, Max had his fingers pressed to his mouth to hide his own grin.

“Positively sappy of you,” he teased, and she huffed. 

“I _was_ going to apologize to you too.”

“Hey, I’m the one who told you you could get away with it.”

“Doesn’t mean I might not be sorry for the words that come out of my mouth.”

“I’ve heard you say terrible things for a lot less reason than this.”

“A _lot_ less? I wouldn’t call the show a _lot_ less.”

“Please, you said some worse things to me at Gizmonics than you did on camera.”

“...I’m sorry for those too,” she said, and he leaned his shoulder into hers and looked into her eyes.

“Thank you,” he said. “You don’t have to apologize, but it’s nice when you do. And I never held it against you for very long.” She kissed him and he reached up to cup her cheek. “Gosh, I love you a lot.”

“I love you too, you wholesome nerd.”

“Aww,” Traci said. Both Kinga and Max startled and looked over at her. “You guys are so cute.” The doula didn’t come any higher standing next to Jonah than Max did, and she had a canvas duffle bag half her own size slung at her hip and a huge smile on her face as Jonah walked past her to sit back down. “Okay, Your Majesties! Are we ready to welcome the princess?”

“Not quite yet,” Kinga said. “Want some fruit?”

“No, I’m good, but you should have a glass of juice or water with yours,” Traci said, shrugging the duffle bag off and setting it down with a muffled thump. “Staying hydrated is important. Jonah said you’ve started contractions?” She came over to the breakfast nook and Jonah scooted over to make room for her. She propped her head on both hands and smiled at Kinga. “Are you keeping track of them?”

“I’ve only had two yet,” Kinga said. “And they were twenty-seven minutes apart.” She ate a few blueberries and then threw one at Jonah. It bounced off his chest and he blinked at her.

“You didn’t warn me. Do it again,” he said, and managed to catch the second one in his mouth when she aimed a little higher. 

“Well, they call the first stage of labor the ‘entertainment phase,’ and you’re certainly being entertained,” Traci said with a laugh. “How are you feeling?”

“Impatient,” Kinga said. “The sooner this is done, the better.”

“Well, average labor duration for a first time mom is about fourteen hours,” Traci said, and yelped at the glare Kinga gave her. “But it could be shorter! Or longer. It could be either. We won’t really know until it happens.”

“Please let it be shorter,” Kinga said.

“You’re barely even into it yet. This is the easy part. You won’t be in active labor until the contractions are five minutes apart, and even then there’s still a ways to go.”

“That’s not helping. I thought you were supposed to be helping.”

“There’s not a whole lot any of us can do to help at this point besides keep you distracted,” Traci said. “Why don’t you show me what you finally picked out for a bassinet? I think you said you didn’t like the last one I saw.”

“We went through two more after that one,” Jonah said. “I was half sure Katalin would end up sleeping in a cardboard box like a Finnish baby, but Kinga finally made a decision.” 

Kinga got up with a sigh and waved for Traci to follow her into the bedroom. 

“You’re planning on laboring in the bathroom attached to your bedroom?” Traci asked, and when Kinga nodded she stooped to grab her bag before following her out of the room. When they reached the bedroom and the pale purple bassinet set up near the gigantic bed, Baby was curled up inside it. “I think you’re going to have to evict Baby to make room for your baby,” she said, and went to drop the bag in the bathroom before she came back to inspect the bassinet and its contents. Kinga petted Baby and Baby purred loudly and rolled over to show her belly.

“I wonder what it would be like if infants purred,” Kinga said. “How will I know if my baby’s happy?”

“Babies do make happy sounds! I don’t think you’ll have any trouble telling your baby’s happiness from her distress. But if you really don’t understand her, you know I’m still a resource for you after delivery, right? My job is to ensure the wellness and happiness of both you and your newborn.”

“I just… want to be a good mother,” Kinga said, starting to tear up again. “I didn’t have a mother and I… I want to do this right.”

“You’ll be a great mom,” Traci said, putting an arm around Kinga’s shoulders and giving her a reassuring squeeze. “And the emperors are going to make great dads. You don’t have anything to be afraid of.”

“I think I’m still allowed to be afraid of the pain of childbirth.”

“Well, yeah, but you don’t have to compound your fears right now. You shouldn’t be focusing on your fears, you should be focusing on your excitement. You’re almost through with being pregnant! I know it’s been a rough ride for you.”

“It sure hasn’t been fun.”

“By this time tomorrow, you’ll have a brand new baby, and then things should start to go back to normal as far as your moods are concerned. It’s just this one last burst of effort before you’re done.”

“Yeah, so everyone keeps saying.” Kinga reached into the bassinet to pick up Baby and bury her nose in calico fur. “I hope you’re all right.”

“Well, come on, let’s go back out and let your husbands distract you. I know Jonah was saying something about them riffing Labyrinth for you…”

“Oh, I knew there was a reason I love them.” Kinga didn’t put the cat down until they reached the living room, where she deposited her directly into Max’s lap where he was sitting on the couch. “Here, she was in the bassinet again.”

“They did warn us about that at the shelter,” Jonah said. “How’re you feeling?”

“When do I get to start screaming instead of answering that question?” Kinga asked, and Traci waved one hand.

“At will, Your Majesty. But if you scream too much now, your throat will be sore by the time the screaming is less voluntary.”

“I think screaming is an extreme response to a reasonable inquiry,” Jonah said, and he leaned against the back of the couch and rubbed Kinga’s shoulders when she sat back. “You could just spontaneously announce how you’re doing every few minutes to preclude our need to ask.”

“The time is 8:42 a.m. and I am currently uncomfortable and annoyed,” Kinga said. “I heard a rumor you were planning on riffing a movie for me, though.”

“We were going to let you pick,” Max said. “I suggested Labyrinth and Jonah was thinking Dark Crystal.”

“What kind of choice is that? I’m married to a pair of muppets.”

“Oh, go ahead and pretend you wouldn’t enjoy both of those,” Max snorted. “We’ve got your number.”

“You’re going to riff both of them today if Traci’s predictions about how long labor’s going to take hold true,” Kinga said, tilted her head back, and reached up to tug on Jonah’s t-shirt. “But let’s start with Labyrinth. As a timely reminder to hand off our baby to one of you instead of calling the goblins to take her when I’m exasperated.” He came around the couch to sit at her other side, and she immediately leaned against him.

“I don’t think that will be a problem,” Traci chimed in from where she’d settled herself on the overstuffed chair Max liked to read in, picking up one of the books he’d left on the side table. “Baby sign language, huh?”

“Communication is key,” Max said brightly, “so giving her a way to communicate seemed like a good idea.”

“For sure. Just don’t teach her the sign for cat for her name or she’ll be mixed up forever. Babies don’t get puns.”

“I feel like the kid will probably be fluent in sarcasm as soon as she learns how to speak,” Kinga said, and poked Max in the ribs with one pointy finger. “But who knows, maybe she’ll be as sweet as her dad. Whichever that turns out to be.”

“Well, at the very least, she’s definitely _your_ daughter,” Jonah said. “And we’ll both be her dad, you know. Though I don’t know that either of us is sufficiently mellow to offset your generally catastrophic tendencies, both of us might be.”

“I’ll show you catastrophic tendencies if you don’t start distracting me more effectively pretty quickly.” Jonah huffed and brought up the movie on the TV a little faster, and started riffing as soon as David Bowie’s voice started crooning the title credit song. Kinga smirked and settled herself between Jonah and Max as comfortably as she could, content to chip in a snarky comment every so often while her husbands did the heavy lifting of affectionately mocking the movie all three of them enjoyed. 

They went straight from Labyrinth into the Dark Crystal, with Kinga shifting position about every twenty-five minutes to lean against her other husband or to get up entirely and sit on her big bouncy exercise ball instead of the couch. They took a lunch break after Dark Crystal, and Kinga paced around the kitchen restlessly with both hands spread out over her belly. 

“Are you sure you don’t want anything else?” Traci asked, arching an eyebrow at the muffin Kinga was supposedly eating. “You should have something with protein in it. You’ll need energy later.”

“Apparently a lot later,” Kinga snarked. Her contractions were still twenty-three minutes apart and she was salty about it. “It’s been like six hours and nothing feels different.”

“I told you, it’s probably going to take at least fourteen… oh, thank you.” Max put down a plate containing a sandwich and chips in front of Traci and she smiled up at him. 

“You should probably listen to her,” Jonah said, in the middle of making his own sandwich, and he glanced back at Kinga when she paced behind him. “This is… kind of her job. To get you through this process okay.”

“It’s not kind of my job, it’s my entire job,” Traci pointed out, and Kinga rolled her eyes and put down the muffin she’d only desultorily picked at.

“Fine! I guess I’ll have a sandwich too. I don’t _want_ one, but if it’s _soooo_ important for me to eat…”

“Wow, I’m getting traumatic flashbacks of the summer you decided you only wanted to eat cookies and went on a hunger strike when you weren’t getting them,” Max said. “Yes, it’s still important for you to eat. What would you like?”

“Am I still not allowed to have deli meat?” Kinga asked, and Traci shrugged.

“It won’t really have time to affect the baby if you eat it now. Go for it, I’d say.”

“Awesome. Turkey and cheddar, please.” She didn’t stop wandering around the kitchen until Max set down a plate for her at the table, and she wrinkled her nose as she sat down and put a hand on her belly. “Come on, kid, will you hurry up already? You’re holding this whole process up.”

“The daughter of Kinga Forrester is making things difficult, what a shock,” Jonah said dryly. Kinga rolled her eyes and took a bite of her sandwich.

After lunch Kinga’s restlessness got worse, so she and Traci took a walk around the building, not just the floor the Forresters were living on but the floor where their offices were and the floor with the pool. For a moment Kinga stood at the edge of the pool with her arms crossed, and Traci put a hand on her back gently.

“Are you okay? You look… abstract.”

“I didn’t know that Pollocking was a symptom of labor,” Kinga quipped, and she shook her head. “No, I’m fine. It’s just… weird. I wished I had a pool on the Moon sometimes, I didn’t anticipate that when I got one it would be for mommy water aerobics, or that it would make me want to give birth in water.”

“Are you having second thoughts about that?”

“No way, after reading everything about how it’s an easier and less painful way to have a baby? No. I’m certain about it.” She shrugged. “I’m having second thoughts about _having_ the baby, but not the _way_ I’m having the baby.”

“Don’t worry. As soon as you hold her in your arms, all your doubts will vanish. I’ve seen it happen dozens of times. When you’re in labor it seems like it might not be worth it, but once you get through that hard part, I promise, you’ll see how worth it all of the trouble was.”

“I don’t think the baby is going to remove my doubts about myself,” Kinga said, turning away to start her waddling walk around the perimeter of the pool. Traci shadowed her, and halfway down the length of the pool Kinga added, “And another thing… Why does everyone think my maternal instinct will suddenly kick in once the baby is here? I’ve gone thirty years without having a scrap of maternal instinct, but as soon as I pop out a kid it’s magically going to manifest?”

“That’s… kind of the definition of a maternal instinct,” Traci said. “I know you’re afraid you won’t know how to be a mother, but like I’ve told you, I’m still on call for you after you give birth. If you need help with anything, just reach out to me. Some people need a little more coaching to be good moms, but nobody’s going to stand aside and let you ruin your baby’s life if you’re not a good mom by nature.”

“I don’t feel like I have room to make mistakes. I _have_ to be good at this.”

“Well, you’ve got both your husbands to help you be good at it. And they both seem to have very active paternal instincts.”

“I already know that Max has the patience for it,” Kinga said, turning the corner of the pool, “and Jonah’s… god, he’s such a good person. He didn’t hesitate at all when I told him I was pregnant. Even though he didn’t know if fatherhood was a thing he wanted for himself, he committed himself to it.”

“He seems pretty ready for it now,” Traci pointed out. “He’s had a while to get used to the idea.”

“I mean, I would hope so, we’ve been married for half of the pregnancy,” Kinga said. She stopped in her tracks and wrapped her arms around her belly, wincing. Traci checked her phone.

“Twenty minutes this time! Good, they’re getting closer together.”

“Great,” Kinga said, half-sarcastically. “Six hours to lose ten minutes. At this rate, I’ll be giving birth _tomorrow_.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time a labor’s stretched over an entire day,” Traci said, putting her hand on Kinga’s back and patting her gently. “As long as you aren’t in distress—”

“I don’t know if ‘distress’ is the word as much as ‘annoyance’ at this point.”

“You’re doing great, I promise. You want to keep walking?”

“No, I want to go back upstairs. I feel like being coddled right now.” 

Coddled meant cuddling in bed, her head on Jonah’s shoulder, Max rubbing her feet and Baby on her lap purring up a storm. Kinga dozed off between her husbands and only stirred a little when another contraction hit in the middle of her nap, feeling so safe and loved that the pain almost didn’t register through her happy dream. When she did wake up, it was to find Max asleep next to her, his hand spread protectively over her belly, and Jonah awake on her other side, staring at the both of them with a dopey adoring expression in his dark eyes.

“Have a nice nap?” he murmured softly, and she nodded.

“It was weird… I dreamed about our kids.”

“Kids multiple?”

“Yeah. Katalin, and a boy.”

“I don’t know if we should have another… you’ve hated being pregnant.”

“I know, I know, I just— haven’t you thought about it? I’ve thought about it.”

“You told me not to think about it.”

“Yeah, but did that actually stop you?”

“No. Not really. I think it would be nice to have two kids. I definitely benefited from not being an only child.” 

Kinga’s eyes widened, and she turned to look at Max sleeping peacefully on her other side. “Yeah… I don’t want to think what I’d have turned out like if I hadn’t had a calming influence on me as a kid.”

“But I don’t want you to go through this whole emotional roller coaster again. It’s just been getting worse and worse for the whole length of our relationship… I’d like to have you feel normal again, since I haven’t gotten to love you without the pregnancy hormones being a factor. I want you to be happy, and for a good long while.”

“I mean, I’m still pretty young, it’s not like I need to have a second baby right now or I won’t get to have one at all. I’ve got a few years to consider it.”

“That’s true.” Jonah reached for her hand and laced their fingers together, offering her a sweet smile. “Well, it’s up to you. Nobody’s going to make you have another kid if you aren’t ready for one. I’m sure not going to twist your arm about it, and that’s not Max’s style.”

“I wish I could make one of you carry the next one,” she said.

Jonah blanched. “I realize that you’re a mad scientist, but I do _not_ consent to being impregnated by you. And I don’t think Max will let you summarily undo the good work he’s done trying to get into better shape since we came back to Earth.”

“Oh, hush, as if I’d ever use either of you as test subjects again. And you didn’t even have that bad of a time of it when you _were_ my test subject.”

“Don’t gloss over it so easily… you tried to make me lose my mind.”

“Honey, I am far more likely to drive you insane as your wife than as your tormentor, and now you have no chance of escape.”

“I don’t need to escape, I can drive you crazy right back,” he said, leaning in to kiss her forehead. “You’re just as stuck with me as I am with you.”

“But you’re much less evil, so I have less to worry about,” she pointed out.

“You’re getting less evil.”

“Stop reminding me how toothless I’m becoming.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re so powerless as a beloved world leader.” He rolled his eyes. “It undermines you so much to do good things and be adored and respected by 90% of our citizenry. Clearly you should be tying everyone’s universal income payment to their ability to withstand crappy movies.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m going to keep reminding you that you’re becoming a good person who does good things because they’re the right things to do, whether you like it or not.”

“You dastardly protagonist.”

“Only you would put those words together,” Jonah laughed, and she sighed and cuddled up to him.

“You ginormous, goofy, geeky galoot, you nerdy, nebbishy nincompoop, you—”

“And now you’re getting abusive.”

“I’m allowed to be abusive today. And that’s barely abusive. That’s affectionate.”

“You have a weird way of showing affection.”

“Uh, _yeah_ , I thought you were familiar with what Forresters are like, what did you expect?”

“Pretty much this, honestly. An uneven mixture of compliments and disses sprinkled across an underlying layer of fondness.” He kissed her hair and added, “I’m not saying you can’t call me names. I’m just going to whine about it when you’re mean to me in an attempt to get you to be less mean.”

“Baby.”

“She’s in the bassinet.” 

“Dork!”

“Yes, but I’m _your_ dork.”

“That’s true.” She curled her hand in his t-shirt and gave it a tug. “I do love you an awful lot.”

“I love you too, you freaky firecracker.” 

“Do I—” Max yawned and lifted his head off the pillow. “Do I get a fun alliterative phrase too?” 

“How long have _you_ been awake?” Kinga asked.

“Just a couple of minutes. I like listening to the two of you banter, it’s fun.” Shifting and stretching his arms over his head with a groan, Max rearranged himself along Kinga’s back and wrapped an arm around her middle, peeking over her at Jonah. “So? What’s my poetic epithet?”

“Hmm… you melodramatic marshmallow,” Kinga said, and Max huffed.

“That’s fair.”

“You twee teddy bear?” Jonah offered, and Max gasped.

“ _Twee_? Ouch. Right in the heart. That’s a bit too manic pixie dream girl for me.”

“That doesn’t suit you. You’re not a manic pixie dream boy, you’re a happy hobbit fantasy boy,” Kinga said.

“That’s dead on,” Jonah said. “What she said.”

“That’s much better,” Max agreed. “I like that.”

“Good, I’ll have to remember it for—” Kinga paused with a gasp, and behind her Max gasped too, his hand spread out over her belly so he could feel the contraction gripping her. 

“Oh, that’s _weird_ ,” he said. “Jonah, put your hand here.” He moved his hand over to make room for Jonah’s much larger one, and Kinga huffed until they both rubbed her gently to ease the crampy feeling.

“You better be willing to quell me like this when I’m in active labor,” she said.

“Come on, Kinga, you know we’ve both been going through the coaching lessons, we know what we’re supposed to do,” Jonah said. “Have a little faith in us.”

“I have endless faith in you.”

They stayed in bed for a while longer, a snuggly pile of spouses lazing about, and when they finally stirred from their bedroom they found Traci sitting in Max’s chair with Baby in her lap, petting the cat with one hand and holding a book open with her other hand.

“Who’s been reading about attachment theory?” she asked, and Max lifted his hand as the three of them came around to sit on the couch. “You want my advice?”

“Well, yeah, that’s what you’re here for,” he said.

“Ignore anyone who tells you to let your baby cry herself out. Always pick her up. Don’t let her cry herself to sleep. Self-soothing is bullshit verging on child abuse when all it does is teach your child her needs won’t be met. Babies don’t cry for no reason; if she’s crying, there’s something you need to do for her.” 

“Noted,” Jonah said. 

“I was never planning on letting her cry herself out anyways,” Max said. “Don’t worry. Katalin is not going to lack for attention. If anything, she’s going to be loved too much.”

“There’s no such thing as loving your child too much in the first couple of years. You don’t want to be helicopter parents later on, but _absolutely_ cater to her needs when she’s an infant. The more responsive you are to her, the more well-adjusted she’ll be as an adult.”

“That explains so much,” Kinga said, and Max shot a sideways glance at her. “My dad tried, but he was… not great at parenting. But Frank absolutely doted on Max.”

“It’s sweet of you to call me well-adjusted,” Max said. “Inaccurate, but sweet.”

“You seem well-adjusted enough to me,” Jonah said. “You know, aside from the codependency, but you’ve told me more than enough about your history for that to make total sense. You’re definitely not afraid to love or to be loved.”

“Love is the best thing ever, why would I ever be afraid of it?” 

“Because it’s _terrifying_ ,” Kinga said. “Ugh, love is so scary. Putting your heart into someone else’s hands and just hoping they won’t break it.”

“Oh, like you’ve ever had your heart broken,” Max said. “Who’ve you loved besides me and Jonah and maybe Root depending on how sentimental you feel when you’re talking about your school years?” 

“Shut up. Just because I _haven’t_ had my heart broken doesn’t mean I wasn’t scared of it happening. You know how I held you at arm’s length for years.”

“I don’t know why you were afraid of _me_ breaking your heart when loving you is the entirety of what I’ve used my heart for for most of my life.”

“Don’t ask my feelings to make sense, Max. You know better than that.”

“Yeah, that’s fair,” he said, and leaned into her side. “You’re worth the time you made me wait, though.” 

“I’d hope so, at this point, cause you’re not getting rid of me as long as we’re both alive.”

“You’ve gotten my whole life up until now, of course I’m going to give you the rest of it, silly.”

“You two are dysfunctionally adorable,” Jonah said. “The rest of all three of our lives is going to be interesting.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” Traci said. “So, you napped for a while, how spaced are your contractions now?”

“Like eighteen minutes,” Kinga said, and Traci checked her watch and made a face.

“Looks like you’re going through this stage pretty slowly. You might want to pick another movie to make fun of to pass the time.”

It took another six hours for Kinga to reach active labor, during which time Jonah and Max mocked Iron Man, the first Harry Potter movie, and Kinga’s guilty pleasure, Heathers. By the time her contractions were coming only a few minutes apart, she’d cursed out everyone in the penthouse including the cat, threatened to fire her OB-GYN, had her cell phone confiscated after making a couple of angry tweets, cried eight times, hit her husbands five times, threatened to divorce them twice, and didn’t settle down until she was given a few drops of CBD oil under her tongue that knocked her out of her rage spiral in only a few minutes.

By the time midnight rolled around, she was only just getting into the tub to finish laboring, still not quite fully effaced but achy and tired and longing for the comfort of the warm water around her. Max was the designated hand-holder, sitting next to the tub and letting her hurt him to forget about her own pain like she’d done so many times before in less drastic circumstances, reminding her of the breathing exercises she’d spent months practicing for just this moment. Jonah had been tasked with getting the doctor and the doula anything they needed before he settled on the other side of the tub, rubbing Kinga’s shoulders and murmuring encouragement in between her cries of pain.

“You can start pushing now,” Dr. Anders told her after checking her the fifth time after she’d moved to the tub, and Kinga hissed between her teeth and shifted position, kneeling on the built-in seat in the tub and curled over the edge of it. Her husbands moved with her, and she looked up at them with poison in her gaze.

“I don’t know which one of you did this to me….” She gasped and clutched Max’s hand harder. “So I hate you both _so much_ right now.”

“I think we’re willing to share the blame on this,” Jonah said, one huge hand stroking up and down her back rhythmically.

“You won’t hate us forever,” Max said, as cheerfully as he could when he could feel the bones in his hand grinding together in Kinga’s ridiculously tight grip. “You won’t even hate us tomorrow morning.”

“She might still hate you tomorrow morning,” Traci said. “It takes time to recover from giving birth.”

“Hey, as long as she’s splitting it between us, it’s manageable,” Jonah said. “If she was just planning on hating one of us, it’d be a dicey situation. But I think we’ll cope.”

“I’ll hate one of you more specifically later,” Kinga spat, and Jonah and Max shared a look before Max squeezed her hand gently.

“Well, focus on the now, by the time we know which one of us put you in this condition you’ll hopefully be over it.”

“I’m never going to get over this! If you had any idea what I’m going through—”

“We’re right here with you,” Jonah said soothingly. “We might not be feeling it, but we can see it, we’re not ignoring your pain.”

“I’m going to— _fuck!_ I’m going to invent a machine to make men feel this,” she growled, “and I’m going to put one in every hospital, and I’m going to make a law requiring any man who impregnates a woman to go through it—”

“Stop ranting and breathe,” Max said. “You’re interrupting your own rhythm. Come on, you’re so close, just keep pushing.” He demonstrated the breathing she was supposed to be using again, and she snarled and dug her nails into his hand but followed his lead. 

“Good, just like that,” Jonah said, “you’re doing so well.” 

“Next time you feel a contraction, bear down as hard as you can,” Traci said, and Kinga nodded frantically and waited the thirty seconds it took another one to hit. She howled and nearly broke Max’s hand as she pushed. 

“The head is out!” Dr. Anders said, reaching into the water. “One more good push, Kinga… now!” 

“ _Fuck_!” Kinga screamed, and the baby bobbed to the surface of the tub and was instantly collected by the doctor.

“You did it,” Max said, kissing her sweaty brow. “Oh, honey, you did it.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she pressed her face into his neck, gasping for breath. 

“Do you want to cut the cord?” Dr. Anders asked Jonah, who had turned his focus from the wife who was being tended to to the daughter who needed a parent’s attention. 

“Yeah, of course!” The doctor clamped the umbilical cord and showed Jonah where to cut it, then took the squalling baby over to the counter where Traci had set out the scale and the swaddling blankets.

“You’re not quite done yet,” Traci told Kinga, one hand on her back gently. “But the placenta’s no big deal at all compared to the baby. You’ll just have one or two more contractions…” 

Kinga snarled and clung to Max for another minute until she’d delivered the afterbirth, immediately trying and failing to get to her feet. Jonah swooped in to get his hands under her arms and keep her from falling.

“Hey, hey, no, come here. You might be the most powerful woman in the world, but you still can use help,” he said, and she made a face at him as he gathered her into his arms and lifted her out of the tub. Max wrapped a towel around her when Jonah set her on her feet but didn’t let her take all of her own weight, and she sagged between them, exhausted and shaky and willing to let them dry her off and get her tucked into bed. 

“Your daughter is beautiful,” Traci said as she carried the fussing baby into the bedroom, bathed and wrapped in a pale purple blanket with a stockinette cap Max had knitted himself on her little head. Kinga held out her arms and Traci gently handed the baby over. 

"Oh..." Kinga breathed as the newborn was laid in her arms. "Hello, Katalin." She brushed a fingertip over the baby's plump cheek and then looked up at her husbands on either side of her. "Look how perfect she is..."

"You're both perfect," Max said, tears rolling freely down his cheeks but a look of pure joy on his face. “You’re amazing. Look what we made… she’s so _small_.”

“Her eyes are blue,” Jonah said, leaning in from the other side. His dark eyes were wide behind his glasses. “None of us have blue eyes…”

“Most babies have blue eyes at birth,” Traci said. “They’ll darken in a few weeks. But you can tell she takes after her mom already.” It was true; the wisps of hair she’d been born with were just as copper as Kinga’s tresses. “You should take the blanket off and nurse her, skin contact is so beneficial right now. Childbirth is just as hard on the child as it is on the mother.”

“Come on, sweetheart,” Kinga breathed, unwrapping the blanket and cuddling Katalin to her breast. To her relief, the baby latched on immediately upon being presented with a nipple, and the soft fussing subsided into fairly noisy suckling. Dr. Anders came into the bedroom but paused by the bassinet, which was full of Baby.

“She seems perfectly healthy,” he said. “21 inches, eight pounds two ounces, born at 12:37 a.m. There are a few medically necessary procedures I’ll need to do before I leave, but they can wait until you’ve had a chance to bond a little.” He ran his fingers over the cat, and added, “I wouldn’t put the baby into this until you’ve changed the blankets. Cat hair isn’t great for infants.” Traci picked up the cat and set her on the end of the bed to change the blankets for them. “I’ll need her name for the birth certificate, too.”

“Katalin Maximilian Jonah Forrester,” Kinga said, and the doctor blinked, shrugged, and went to write it down. After a moment to switch out the baby blankets, Traci left them alone too.

“You look content,” Jonah said quietly, and Kinga huffed.

“I feel content.”

“Does that mean you don’t hate us any more?”

“I’m done giving birth. I can’t get away with saying mean shit now.” He clicked his tongue at her, and she snorted. “No. I don’t hate you any more.”

“Good, because I am so full of love for all three of you that I could pop,” Max said. He’d wiped away his tears, and now he was staring at Kinga and Katalin with pure adoration in his eyes. “You’re so beautiful.”

“I look like a mess,” Kinga said, rolling her eyes.

“A beautiful mess,” Jonah said. “Our beautiful mess.”

“Hopeless romantics,” she breathed, but she was smiling as she looked down at Katalin. “Of course you’d think that.” Tipping her head back into the pile of pillows propping her up, she let out a jaw-popping yawn, then sighed. “Oh, god, I’m _so_ tired.”

“Well, you have been in labor for almost an entire day,” Max pointed out. “I think you’re allowed to get some sleep now, once you’re done nursing her. Jonah and I can handle anything else that needs to be tended to tonight.”

“Good, that’s what husbands are for….” Kinga hummed tiredly and leaned against Jonah to rub her cheek against his shoulder. “Thank you for carrying me in here.”

“My pleasure,” Jonah said, bending to kiss the top of her head. 

“And thank you for… everything,” she said, brushing her hand against Max’s arm. “Everything for the past thirty years.”

“It’s what I’m here for,” he said, putting his head on her shoulder. “You know… if anyone had told ten year old me when I had newborn you in my arms that I’d be holding you and our newborn daughter today… I wouldn’t have believed them.”

“Our lives are weird,” Kinga said.

“You’ve made my life very weird,” Jonah said.

“I love our weird lives,” Max said. “And I love you. Very much.” The three of them cuddled together around the tiny, soft centerpoint Katalin made to their trio, exhausted but ineffably happy.


End file.
